All About Parental Alienation and How to Prove It

Is it difficult to prove parental alienation? This is a topic that should be taken seriously for the health and safety of the child or children involved.

Read everything you need to know here.

Introduction

Divorces and custody battles happen every day in California and around the world. For many of these couples, there are no children involved. However, for the rest, the adults, as well as the kids, are all going through a divorce.

During this time, emotions run high. Whether intentional or not, the child (or children) of the couple become stuck in the middle, feeling pulled between one parent and the other. Almost always the parent knows what he or she is doing — without realizing how much it is actually hurting the child. The alienated parent, however, may be left in the dark until it is too late.

Even more unfortunate is the fact that the psychological trauma that can stem from this can be felt for a lifetime.

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation is when a parent deliberately tries to cause distance between the child and the other parent. To break it down a bit more, let’s say we have parent A and parent B. And, let’s say parent A was trying to cause distance between the child and parent B. If parent A is truthfully doing this by using statements and actions that are negative about parent B while in front of the child, then you are dealing with parental alienation.

This situation is abusive and dangerous and can lead to long-term psychological issues for the child or children involved.

The impacts of parental alienation on a child can be great and last for a lifetime if not addressed and healing isn’t sought. The child or children that are subject to the alienation may begin exhibiting behaviors including:

• Acting out, tantrums, and other behavioral problems when with the other parent.
• Exhibiting fear around the other parent.
• Telling lies to the child about the other parent. i.e. when the parent had to work an extra shift, but the child is told the other parent just didn’t want to see him/her.
• Repeating or saying the same blame or negative rhetoric being shared to the other parent.
• Falsely accusing the other parent of abuse. Or creating made-up stories about that parent.

And, finally, flat out refusing to spend time with the other parent – even on scheduled visits.

Is it Parental Alienation? Here are the Signs

Parental alienation can happen for different reasons, but it usually comes down to a parent intentionally trying to undermine, deny, or ignore the rights of the other parent when it comes to his or her relationship with the child (or children).

Because it may be hard to imagine what this would look like in a real-life situation, below you will find a few signs and examples to help you recognize parental alienation.

• Always making it difficult for the other parent to see or communicate with the child.
• Speaking negatively about the other parent or criticizing him or her in front of the child. Most of the time the accusations are false, too.
• Pointing fingers and blame at the other parent – in front of the child.
• Not including the other parent in extracurricular activities, school events, or important educational matters.
• Also not including the other parent on matters regarding important medical decisions.
• Making the child feel bad for speaking lovingly to or about the other parent by criticizing or causing guilt.
• Making visitation schedules so strict that it is nearly impossible for the other parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome

When the child is exposed to this parental behavior for an extended time, the damage can become worse. And once the child begins to view the other parent (the alienated parent) in the negative light, rejecting the parent, the child may have Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Adopting this way of thinking is the determining factor between parental alienation and PAS.

PAS is not an official diagnosis listed in the DSM-IV used by psychiatrists and psychologists so it is not recognized by everyone, but those within the family law courts and community understand the effects that PAS can have on the life of a child now and in the future.

Speak to an Experienced California Divorce Lawyer

Dealing with this situation if you are an alienated parent can be very frustrating and may leave you feeling helpless. Speaking to an experienced California divorce lawyer can help you determine the best course of action.

Your attorney will walk you through all the ways that parental alienation can best be proven in court so that you can help stop the damage as quickly as possible.

Proving Parental Alienation

Proving parental alienation can be tough. As their parent, you may notice subtle changes or differences that indicate alienation may become an issue in the near future. But these are not going to be as evident to those in the legal community. Having proof is so important, but it is tough to do.

Sometimes, to get to the bottom of a parental alienation accusation, everyone in the immediate family may be ordered to undergo an evaluation. The court-appointed person will then speak to both parents and all children, asking questions in great detail to get a better picture of what is going on at home. This is an effective tool in uncovering parental alienation, but it does not always work.

Having hard evidence is another way to try to prove that it is taking place. This means holding on to any text messages, emails, phone records, social media posts, and the like that can be used to prove your suspicions.

Even if you don’t have 100% proof that parental alienation is taking place, an experienced attorney should be able to put together a case that will help modify any custody or visitation arrangements so that you can begin to nurture and work on your relationship with your child. While it may not be exactly what you are seeking, it should be a step in the right direction — and help things from getting worse.

Having an experienced attorney on your side is a very vital step for the health of your relationship with your kids.