How to Prepare For a Custody Battle

Going through a custody battle can be tough and overwhelming. It’s ideal to have an attorney by your side.

Here’s what to know in preparation.

Introduction

It does not matter how much you want your kids 100% of the time all to yourself. When there is another parent involved there is a good chance that a custody battle is going to take place. This often requires both of you to set aside your differences and come together to create a custody plan that is in the best interest of the kids. Or, if that doesn’t seem like a possible solution, it will leave the fate of the children in the hands of the court system for a judge to enter an order.

If you find yourself in this situation, the best thing you can do is be prepared. Here’s how you can do just that.

Reflect Responsibility and Desire to Engage

You want to be able to show that you are a responsible, engaged parent. Whether or not you have been in the past doesn’t matter as the past is in the past. Sure, it may come up but as long as you are providing your ability to be responsible today – and going forward – and you are showing that you have been engaging with the kids (or trying to), then that is a positive step.

There are a lot of emotions involved in a custody battle so being able to focus on what matters and genuinely being able to show that you are is fantastic. So, how do you do this?

• Make every attempt possible to spend time with your kids. If you have a temporary arrangement in place, do not miss your appointments or this could be damaging for your case. And when you do have them, do something with them. It doesn’t have to be expensive or major, but quality time is important and it is reflected in the relationship.
• Show that you are dependable. Always show up on time, whether dropping off or picking up the kids, at a school function, doctor’s appointment, and so on.
• Stay out of trouble. It can be easy to let your guard down and make a bad choice. But doing so can lead to big problems. So keep yourself on the straight and arrow – for your kids.
• Be flexible when needed. If you are truly putting your kids first then when something changes with their schedule, whether for school or an extracurricular activity, you will be flexible and accommodating.

Keep Detailed Records

As you go through the custody battle, before and during, keep a detailed record of everything that has taken place. Make a list of the things you have done to show you are a responsible and engaging parent. This includes such things as being punctual, adjusting to schedule changes, activities you have done with the kids, and so forth. Of course, if you see something negative concerning the other parent it is always a good idea to mark this down, too.

You may or may not ever show this list to anyone but your attorney, but it is a great thing to have just in case. You never quite know how custody battles will go so it is always a good idea to keep records.

Hire an Attorney For Your Custody Battle

You never want to go into a custody battle alone – regardless of whether or not the other party is represented. There are many emotions involved in these types of cases so trying to handle them on your own can be very overwhelming. Not to mention that it can also lower your chances of gaining the custody rights you are seeking.

With an experienced attorney, you can feel confident that a clear-minded, experienced legal professional has your best interest – and your kids – at heart while you work through your emotions in the background.

Interested in a word to the wise? Once you have an attorney, share everything. There is a good chance that all of your dirty laundry is going to get aired in court anyways, so giving your attorney a heads up is the best thing to do. After all, being prepared is key to winning the battle, isn’t it? 

Assemble a Witness List

You will want to gather the names and contact information of individuals who may become witnesses in your custody case. These should be individuals who are trustworthy and reliable. For example, coaches, church leaders, teachers, and others who know your children and you.

It is always a good idea to include those that can vouch for your character and your interactions with the kids.

Use Only Factual Information

Don’t get caught up in heresy information. When two people are fighting for custody, it is common for outsiders to try to put in their two cents. It is also common to see things on social media and so forth. Stick to the facts at all times. The more you do this – and the less you focus on he said/she said stuff, the more it will say about your character in court. 

And, speaking of facts, be honest throughout the custody battle. No one is a perfect parent. Trying to make yourself sound this way will only make you look silly. It will also make you a little less trustworthy because, well, it will be obvious that you are exaggerating the facts.

Just be real. Own up to any misjudgments in the past and show that you are trying to change your ways by proving yourself now and going forward. This will leave you much more respected than lying.

Focus on the Well-Being Of The Children

Custody battles can get ugly and it is very easy to turn them into a fight with the other party rather than a fight for your kids. Remember what this court case is all about and leave your dislike and haste for the other parent out of the courtroom.

It can be tough but remind yourself why you are here. The more you focus on the matter at hand, the more it will be evident to the judge that you are focused on the kids and that you are serious about gaining custody rights to them.

Preparing for a custody battle doesn’t have to be tough – especially with an attorney by your side.