Violating Child Custody Orders: What You Need to Know

If you’re experiencing problems with your ex regarding child custody, then it’s important to fully understand your rights in order to protect the well-being of your child.

Find more about violating child custody orders here.

Introduction

Child custody orders are supposed to give all parties involved in the welfare of a child a better understanding of how to share responsibilities. They provide a framework that limits the need for arguments, confusion, and debate about exactly who cares for the child and when. They also serve as a legally-binding contract and enforceable court order in the eyes of the law.

Yet, violations can, and still do, occur. Sometimes, this is intentional (e.g., parental abduction and kidnapping). In other cases, parents might feel that they have no option but to violate an order, either due to outside influences (such as the COVID-19 lockdown) or because they fear for the safety of a child.

Regardless of the reason, neglecting to adhere to a custody order can have serious consequences for the health and safety of your whole family. We’ll tell you more about what might happen, how to avoid violations, and what to do if your ex violates your custody agreement.

What Qualifies as a Violation?

Not every incident qualifies as a custody violation. In fact, the courts typically only act on a broken agreement if there is evidence the action was intentional or malignant in some manner. You won’t face consequences simply for being 30 minutes late at drop-off time because you had to stop and fix a flat tire. Nor will you be sent to jail just because you couldn’t travel as a result of the COVID-19 lockdown. The courts know, and understand, that these circumstances are beyond your control.

Situations that do qualify may include:

• Refusing to respect timeframes. Running late once in a while is a normal part of life as a parent (especially with young kids). It happens, and in most cases, you should simply try to work it out with your ex-spouse. On the other hand, constant and flagrant refusal to respect visitation times is considered a violation. This includes repeatedly showing up at random times, bringing children back hours or days later than specified within the order, and deliberately scheduling events to “stretch out” time with the child.
• Parental alienation. This can be exceptionally damaging to both the child’s mental wellness and to the relationship between a parent and child. It can also drive children to refuse to see a parent altogether. If there is proof it occurred or that it was an intentional effort to alienate the child, it may be considered contempt of court – or even an outright violation of your order.
• Drug or alcohol use. Parents who have any level of custody over a child are expected to care for their children in a safe, healthy manner. Drug abuse, drinking to excess, and other risky or illegal behaviors can put little ones in harm’s way. This may not only result in a custody violation, but also in criminal child endangerment charges or even complete loss of access.
• Taking children across state lines. Parents must seek written agreement from the other spouse anytime they wish to bring kids across state lines. Doing so without permission is almost always a violation. The only exception is when parents live in different states and have a prearranged agreement for travel.
• Leaving kids with unauthorized parties. Both parents must agree before transferring responsibility of care to a third party. This includes temporary arrangements, such as daycares, babysitters, and spending time with relatives. Letting someone else care for your child without permission, especially if that person is later judged unfit, is a clear violation.
• Failure to communicate whereabouts. Nothing is more terrifying than realizing you don’t know where your child is. Co-parents still need to communicate with each other when the exact whereabouts of a child may be unclear. This is true even when the change occurs within the scope of normal visitation hours (e.g., deciding to go on a different outing early in the day).
• Parental abduction. This is the most obvious and grievous form of custody violation. A parent kidnaps a child and either hides them or runs away with them in an attempt to prevent the other parent from having access. This may be done in a perceived effort to protect the child or for other reasons (such as to get back at an ex-spouse for leaving). In either case, it is considered a severe violation as well as a federal offense.

Consequences of Violations

The consequences for violating a child custody order can be extremely dire. You might lose access to your child until you can prove your ex can rely on you to adhere to it. Or, you might be forced to have supervised visitation for several months. In some cases, the courts may even remove your rights to your child altogether.

You may also be charged with contempt of court. This means you knew the order was legally-binding, but neglected to adhere to it anyway. The result of such charges is often fines or short jail sentences (e.g., two weeks to two months).

As mentioned in the previous section, some violations are also associated with criminal charges. This includes any situation that qualifies as kidnapping, abuse, neglect, or endangerment. Where drugs or alcohol are involved, you are especially likely to lose custody. The courts may even involve DCFS in your case.

How to Avoid or Respond to Violations

It is almost always best to avoid a violation before one occurs. But this can seem especially difficult when you’re in the middle of an unfolding crisis, or when life interferes with your ability to adhere to your agreement. We have a few tips.

• Formalize your agreement. Don’t just have a verbal conversation with your ex and agree to share custody, even if you get along. Go to court and ensure that you have a legally-binding order to support your rights. Otherwise, your agreement is virtually unenforceable in the eyes of the law.
• Keep a copy of your agreement. In the event that you need to reach out for legal help or emergency assistance from police, they may ask to see your agreement. Having it on hand makes it easier for them to help you respond to a problem if and when one occurs.
• Don’t try to modify terms yourself. If you want something changed on your custody order, bring it to the courts. Have the order legally adjusted and ensure that all parties sign off on it. A simple conversation isn’t enough, even if your ex agrees. All they have to do is deny it to get you in hot water. The courts will also take the time to ensure your new standards are fair.
• Call the police. If you have any reason to fear for the safety of your child, contact the police right away. This includes when your ex refuses to give your child back or when you suspect parental abduction. You have the right to ask them to enforce your court order provided that you can show it to them. Plus, children are far more likely to be recovered in those precious first few hours.
• Take it back to court. If your ex constantly tries to subvert the custody order, but doesn’t quite do enough to necessitate calling the police, it’s time to head back to court. Document everything and present it to the judge. He or she will help the two of you find a solution or put an end to the problem for good.

If you have concerns about custody violations, your first step should always be to contact a lawyer right away. Cases are often nuanced, and any advice given here may or may not apply to your unique circumstances.

Call a legal referral service to make this process faster, easier, and potentially, even cheaper, too.